what is deciding or choosing

this question has been coming to me for me to inquire into. when I think I should be able to decide or if some one says oh that person made the right decision, it has not ever made sence to me and now I beginning to see. no one is deciding any thing, it is all happening through us, the only thing that believes it is deciding is the me,the thought, the one that wants credit so it can be a someone! I see this today more clearly than before, I have seen my ways of needing to get credit to be a someone and they still live here. What I am finding from experience is, when I leave every thing as it is some thing comes through me and it is some thing that will serve the whole, not just me. When I push through things with a need for me, it dose not serve the whole and I go all over the place till I surrender and then here I am shown that it happens through me, I am not the one making decisions, I am the whole living open ready to be used for the one. I have spent a long time thinking I have made some bad choices in my life, believing that if I had of done it differently it would have...... So not true, it is all happening for me and the way it happens is an ongoing invitation to wake up to realise that I am not the one in charge. x m